All I Saw Was Black
by sweetishbubble
Summary: my OS for FandomForTwiFanG. Charlie thought his marriage to Renee was perfect, until one night, all that changed.


This was my contribution to FandomForTwiFanG. May she rest in peace.

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

_**Anything in italics are lyrics from Blue October's "The End." You can find the lyric video here: ** _watch?v= BuTxkDBZnaY

**Charlie POV**

_Here alone, standing barefoot in out lawn_

_Worms squeezing their way through my toes_

_Tonight that's how it goes._

_I'm at your window kneeling quiet_

_I thought at least I'd maybe try to get your head right_

_Your heart right_

_"Let him go!"_

The ink isn't even dried on our divorce papers and already you're with someone. Not just anyone, you're with _him_. My best friend. My brother. My confident. The one I spilled my guts out to when I found you with someone else. That's what hurts the most. Not that you're with someone new, but that you're with _him._ How could you do this to me? Isn't it bad enough that you've destroyed me by wanting to leave me?

_Replace my heart_

_Cause I'm convinced mine broke the day I let us end_

_Replace my hart_

_I don't wanna live by coping, I'm done with hopeing...end_

For a while I thought we could work out our problems and be together again. We talked and cried together. I was stupid and started making plans for our future. We were going to raise a family together, Renee. I see now that those were just fake tears and empty words. Another blow below the belt, another twist of the knife in my broken heart.

It's not just her I'm angry with. It's him, too. He was my brother, my best man. I've known him forever. We've gone through life, death, girlfriends, break ups, loneliness, and bouts of depression together.

_I creeped in close enough to see the way he touched her,_

_From her feet across her knees, inside her sweetest spot_

_He pleased and pleased her._

With one swift movement, everything I knew about Billy is gone. He's dead to me.

_So to the back window I crawl in silent standing in the darkness_

_Of my living room, my living room_

_This used to be my home_

Our home – a place where I felt at peace, where I could let everything that happened at work go. A place where I opened myself to you so deeply, so intimately, will never be the same again. It's like our home is a ghost town - whispers swirling in our living room of our promises to each other; pictures on the wall like tombstones reminding me of the past.

_How far will I go_

_To make it feel right?_

_"Come home"_

_I'm moving forward to the bedroom door_

_Replace my heart_

_Cause I'm convinced mine broke the day I let us end_

_Replace my heart_

_I don't wanna live by coping, I'm done with hoping...end_

I don't know what else to do, how else to tell you that you're the only one for me. I know you know it, and I know you still feel it. So why can't we start over? Why can't commit to only me? I can make you happy. What does he give you that I can't? What does he do that I don't? Why is he better than me?

_He pushed himself so deep inside her clapping rang and pounced off every wooden walled room_

_And that's when all went silent blank except the color red_

_As I walked calmly numbing paralyzed beside the bed_

"Charlie!" she cries, pushing Billy off of her and covering herself with a sheet. "What are you doing here?"

_I said, "I know I'm not allowed to be here. I just had to see how good your new man really fucks you. Cause you both been _fucking _me."_

"Charlie, you don't understand!" she cried again.

"It's not like that," Billy said, shame written across his face.

_"So now I planned the last thing you can both do as a pair." I tie blindfolds tight around your fucking eyes to blind your stare._

"Charlie, don't do this!" Renee beggs, struggling against me as I tie her blindfold over her eyes.

_"I don't want to alarm you, but I figured we could end this in what seems easy quick and painless_

_Man, so I'll get down to business. I chose you first," _I said, pulling the gun from my belt and putting it next to Billy's head.

"Please," he begs. "You don't have to do this."

_"So laugh at me one more time but keep your face inside the bed. You sit and watch me while I do this shit and learn from what I've said." I cocked the pistol pulled the trigger, and all I saw was red._

I stand there for a moment looking at the lifeless body of my best friend while Renee screams. I know I should feel guilty for doing this, but the guilt never comes. What does come is relief, hope, longing. Relief that the first part is done. Hope that you can finally see that I am serious in my pleas for you to come back to me. Longing to hold you in my arms once more and forget this all happened.

_Then the screaming oh the screaming_

_It's nice to see you scared_

_Of such a weak and stupid husband_

_Who knows you never really cared_

"I did care, Charlie. I did love you," she says.

"They why didn't you fight harder for us?"

"I tried... but you're gone so much, and I -"

"Don't give me that!" I yelled. "I told you I'd do anything you wanted me to. Just tell me what to do. We can still fix this."

"We can't, Charlie. It's too late."

"Why?" Her body shakes with fear while gasping for air and sobbing. "Tell me!"

"I... I can't." She cries harder for her lover while the anger builds in me. Why couldn't she have been like this with me?

"Tell me!" I holler, my voice bounces off the walls and rings in my ears causing Renee to jump.

"Because... I love him." Her voice is a whisper.

I slam my fist through the wall next to me, my anger at its boiling point.

_I'll leave you with a question that I need to hear from your head_

_Was all this worth it knowing you have just seconds left to live?_

_Now think about your answers, laying face down on the bed_

_I cocked the pistol pulled the trigger and all I saw was red_

_I gently stroke her arm as she lies lifeless on her back_

_Then placed the barrel in my mouth_

_and all I saw was black..._


End file.
